I persevered with my intention, though, because I wanted a better future for myself, to continue my education after school and to get a good job. I was also involved in a tribal dispute, which finally pushed me to flee in 2017.  

My journey to Germany was very difficult. Crossing the sea between Turkey and Greece was very dangerous. So many people had drowned trying to do the same. The boat that the smugglers used to transport us was made of rubber, and it was so crowded I thought our weight would drown it. But we arrived safely in Greece, where the authorities put us in small tents in the mountains. This part of the trip was very dangerous too, as there were insects and snakes in that area.  

I thought the journey could not get more dangerous than the sea crossing and the Greek mountains, but it did. So many mafias and bad people were trying to exploit migrants and rip them off, even though we had little.   

When I arrived in Germany, I expected I would find a job easily. I did have an advantage, as I spoke English, and I volunteered for several organizations as a translator to help refugees. This meant a lot to me, but it did not make my stay in Germany any easier. I thought that I would integrate and be able to move forward and evolve as a person, but how could I have done that when I lived in a camp for six months and without a residence card? I could not work legally because of the way I had entered the country, and it was weighing on me. To kill time, I joined literacy courses at church, but that was a waste of time.  

I wish someone had told me how things really worked, not just the embellished positive experiences we heard back home. I found life in Germany to be hard. My daily life was just a mechanical routine, and laws were strict. Had I known the situation irregular migration would get me into, I would not have left Iraq. 

I spent three years in Germany, wasting my precious time, health and money.  

I decided to return in September 2020. Of course, I was concerned about many things: the security, social and economic conditions in Iraq, and the tribal dispute that had pushed me to leave in the first place.   

When I first came back, I felt that conditions had somewhat improved, and I went back to my old life with my family. Coming back felt like a dream, and my migration journey like a nightmare, particularly those scary nights in the tent in the forest, fearing insect bites and the bandits’ attacks.   

I am now completing my studies thanks to a scholarship. I tried to start a little business project and opened a clothes shop but had to close it because of the economic situation; I will try it again, though! I wish there was more support to improve the overall economic situation. It is so hard to start a new life from scratch.  

If I ever emigrate again, which is a possibility, I would do things differently. I would only go if I had a job, if I got accepted at university, or if I could open a business there.  

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